Category Archives: Hair


So it’s over. 31 days of hell, finished. Finis.

Lets look at the stats:

Total km: 350

Total amount of time running (hours): 34

Place on Janathon leaderboard: 8

Average km run each day: 11.29

PB’s achieved: 0

Times I ran as fast as I could: 0

Blog posts: 31

Blog posts that insulted the French: 31

Regrets: 6

Welts: 1

Bad backs: 2

Pairs of shorts consigned to dustbin due to excessive groinal ventilation: 1

Contact lenses lost in haystacks: 1

Pensioners scared: 3

Onions consumed on pizza: 0

Haircuts: 1

Good haircuts: 0

Piglets: 10


Public wees: 16

Porcelain Jesus: 0

Chance of me doing this again, expressed in binary: 0


Big thanks to Cathy for organising the event, and I might see you all for Juneathon… maybe.

*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* Oh, oh my God… I can fix that…. I can…. oh my God….

Well Day 17, and another 13km banked. I seem to be falling down the leaderboard again, mainly due to people who are just putting in random figures (“I think I ran about this far in about this time”). No GPS track no sale people!

The most exciting news of the day is the fact I’ve had a haircut!

My hair had reached the stage where it was going a bit curly which is normally the trigger to attack. Rather than spending 30 euros for a man dressed in a tight white T-shirt to trim off a couple of locks while rubbing his groin in my ear I have always preferred using my girlfriend’s hairdressing service.

She does two styles:

STYLE 1) Shave it all off, then tidy up any ragged bits with hand scissors.

STYLE 2) Shave most of it off; let the guard fall off the shaver; slip; make a large patch of my head bald; hysterically laugh then tell me to wear a hat for a month.

Today I got a Style 1, which was nice. In the past she’s specialised at giving me a Style 2 just before important business meetings, or job interviews. As there was nothing at stake today I figured a Style 1 was the most likely. It’s nice to feel fresh air on my scalp once again though because of reduced head friction my beret kept slipping off (a #frenchworldproblem if ever I’ve heard one).

Apart from my hedge trim, we also had to do some internet diagnosis of an animal problem today. One of our pigs has either been ill or randy for 2 weeks, and we wanted to know which. You know when you’re ill and you go on the internet to check the symptoms, and within 20 minutes you’re convinced you have cancer? Exactly the same thing happens when you’re trying to diagnose a farmyard animal issue. We started off being only mildly worried, but the internet left us convinced we ¬†were going to be responsible for a global swine flu pandemic.